Thursday, July 01, 2010

maybe I lost it



my guitar leans in the corner
after too long forgetting
to tell me where my fingers go.
old schoolmate
your voice I hear in my head
telling me I was a natural
and that so long ago.
there it leans covered with dust and thumbprints
as if I'd never followed a C with a G.
I feel the softness in my fingertips
hearing you say - play that again, man,
I've never heard it that way -
playing for you my friend.
in here now a song
and I recognize a simple progression
knowing if I pick that guitar up
my fingers will forget.
this quick memory
playing and fingers sliding
wrist loose and hitting precisely
stretching strings and smiling
there in the groove
hands working
knowing all six strings
all the frets up and down
back and forth
somehow there and making good music
creating my own place
in the structure and space of a song.
now my guitar leans in the corner
and won't tell me
where my fingers go.

14 August 1995

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

catch the wind

the wind catches me
and right away i think
of the vice versa
and just a little smile
because
impossible, right?
i might just as well
write a best-seller
or a song sung by millions -
a poem that makes people cry
or laugh,
i might just as well
try and catch the wind.

24 April 2003 (special thanks to Donovan Leach, wherever you are)

Saturday, January 23, 2010

high and dry







and then you said,
"how do you keep your feet on the ground?"
looking at you, as you flew,
it never occurred to me to join you -
the structure of your sky
was watery, obscure,
and your eyes hid the tops of the clouds.
---


I leaned forward
so that the leaves of the plastic plant
hid your face from me;
and didn't tell you
of the desert and the bedouins -
the camels and scorpions
the vastness
the dryness.

---


and as you went
away from me, I flew away
to the heat and the bright light;
back to my sky, and the
high and dry.

Saturday, December 26, 2009

heated


you explain it;
you're so smart -
tell me why we
fuss and fight
then leave one another,
alone.
why we look askance
when someone talks about
Jesus:
why we dismiss our attractions
in favour of morality...
skewed perception.
go ahead,
you tell me.

Sunday, March 22, 2009

regardless


we get by if we don’t believe
because we get there
regardless.
we die a thousand times
and don't cry out
but are rescued
nonetheless.
we try to murder our souls
but find them
staring back at us in the mirror.
we feel, we weep, we strike back,
and we don't believe -
we fight, we abuse, and wail in terror;
we lust, we hurt, and rail at the moon
for not caring.
we commit psychic suicide
and drift away
from self and natural-born desire,
never once realizing
that love lives next to us.
we fornicate or
make love
and it all, at once, turns out to be the same.
we try, we want, we cry;
sharing our pain
never occurs to us, and we sit
in silence, indulging
the dark thing that lives
outside love.
love lives next to us
but we don't believe
and go on
regardless.

4 May 2002

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

if walking


if walking
not tired but held in here
fan blows puffs of cooled air
light falls on paper, pictures of my kids;
and if I turn out the light...
but can't.
-
if walking, full moon like daylight out there
bright muted sun -
I want to make it dark in here
and look out the window
put a shirt on go out in the soft day-night
but held in here
fear
of walking in that pale light
moonshadow would show me what's not there
if walking.
-
if I turned out the light
I'd be lost and
the moonlight would tempt me
to walk scream inward in waiting
for reaction - I would stand and look at the moon
in wait for reaction inside screaming manic
panic
if walking.
-
I stand
ready
then startled by the streetlight extinguished.
no voice calls me
just cooled air my children's smiling photos
determined to turn out all the lights
stand at the window
day-night and manic fear
and imagine myself
walking.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Springtime

we've just gotten here and looking around
some bland faces
some cheer
raucous
speakers and old songs for sound.
you wonder, just low beside me,
under your breath, "how long has this been here?"
"for friggin ever," i answer, "didn't you know?"
walking here and there then stopping
to chat with you
and You - such a diplomat!
precious forbearance
my girl and i
perfect attendance as ghosts
float by.
easy in
easy out
a small smile and a lump in my throat,
sunshine and flowers
April showers -
all out of time
and time
to get back to those bells
all around us
chime, then,
chime.

22 April 2003

Sunday, March 01, 2009

Theresa, Jeff, Jenny




Theresa
-
for you
shining so bright in my mind
words... just won't come
they aren't there...
as if someone as beautiful as you
blocks me.
I hug you and stroke your hair
mumbling fatherly cliches, and think -
someday I'll tell you a thousand things,
life things, secret things, adult things,
hoping somehow to get to you before anyone else,
hoping perhaps to shelter you from reality
until you're ready for it.
someday I'll write your name
in letters so big they'll fill the sky.
just for you
shining so bright - soft pure light
in the eye of my mind.

-
21 January 1989
--
Jeff
you, little boy
your face lifted high
to see the video screen
battling bad guys
and monsters.
you
little boy
so quiet with your books
your art
and your smile when you see me;
you
perfect boy
you are my joy
and my heart.
-
18 December 1988
--
Jenny
so
my darling
darling girl;
do you wake up wondering
when you hear my footfall
outside the door?
I listen for your dreaming,
something I guess only I can do.
so dream
my darling
my little girl,
I love you.
-
9 December 1988
--

My amazing children - my love for you has done nothing but grow in all the years since I wrote these to you. You are my heart and my life.
Daddy

child of my youth


if there was ever a reason to write
make it now
in the part of the morning long before dawn
blue lights dancing in the corners.
memories
carnalities
the smell of you still there -
still here in the fold of my shirt
when I move.
and all of that so long ago;
-
memory - such persistance -
as if I'd always known you and know you still
captured in a moment, naked,
your arms outstretched;
while in eternity I look at you,
knowing I could never let you go.
-
there are reasons
night persisting - now seeks then.
I catch the scent of you
coming through the years
still pure, still full of you
and my desire undiminished.
I remember you
child of my youth.

Friday, February 20, 2009

quiescent


all among
around
and God
quiescent.
Williams' descent
stalled for now
; because we deserve better
. I'm glad I died in '69 + -
I'm happy now
to ever let you know
God: speaks to us all
all
the time -
we need but
listen.

11 June 2007

Saturday, January 24, 2009

metaphor roads II (BKIAY)


diamond
different Eyes
You stumble
i catch You on
metaphor roads - you diamond
me coal -
You whisper, "soon, now,
my only man..."
and i hold You to I
and tell You
what a good girl you are.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

complete




here is morning
complete
clear as
the sun
bathes the white landscape outside my window
my mind my eyes
traveling paths then and now
and tomorrow
my children
my parents
my sisters
my brother
my precious woman
all there on the roads of my present concern
telling me they're happy I'm alive
that I've made it this far.
constant retreat
stopped for now
and a certainty that today
I'm not a man too soon come into himself
too soon realized
too late for laughter.
tomorrow I put aside
and I put my head down
my heart pulsing in my throat
my loved ones content while
the morning
today
always
unfolds its glory unabashed
bolstered by my love
silent
complete.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Winter, Spring, Always


I found you
alone and skating in the dark;
clouds in the sky - the moon behind them
dimming the stars and pulling the wind out of the corners.
you looked back at me
not afraid but new to life, somehow,
and strong
so strong.
every night after that
my eyes would falter, and start to close
as I walked behind you
softly, so as not to wake you
to the pain, the fear that surrounded us,
we both so tired of being brave...

in my mind I kissed you
and breathed you in;
stopped always
by a jagged line of nothing in the ice,
and me far too heavy to cross that patch of frozen water.
you walked with head-up caution
glancing now and then at my regard -
your interest beaming back to me
like a flashlight
like a beacon
too intense to do anything but tell me the truth.

over coffees later, you told me of your past,
while I looked at your good face
and ate your words like candy,
your kids in bed, waiting, in dreams,
for the two of us to become friends.
our lives a mystery
interwoven, strands of many textures, colors,
and I was far too lost in the corners of your eyes.

in time the warm rays of the sun
made passage by boat across the strait
the only way to you;
the ice receded and in our fond poverty
we would wave from opposite shores,never sure when we might talk again.
later, in warmth and seclusion I thought of you -
closed my eyes and wished you well -
too weak to swim to the island
where you stayed year by year.
and missed you
how I missed you
and held you near in memory.

we're older now
and here we are, in this house -
tired but alright -
after falling through the ice finally,
but protected by our friends;
you and I and catching hold
of their life preservers.
floating to the surface, we laughed and held each other
and whispered over and over,
"it's alright now, we're cold but we can swim -
carry each other if that's what it takes."
and we swam
laughing, crying,
while your children waited on your shore
and I looked back at mine, at their shining faces,
while they stood and waved
from the mainland.

now winter's over, and new things grow
where before there was nothing
but snow.
in love too fragile and omnidirectional
swimming in guileless truth
we make for the island
and dream our good, good dreams,
family, fire and fondness.



(November 1998)

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

my not-girl, and i miss you...

Monday, August 11, 2008



witch you


you - whipsmile glance
wiccan girl
my wicked girl
you i don't touch
though
i want to
i want two... ah me, you feel....
erect
-
like i've built a statue for you.



11 October 1998

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

discretion advised


Thursday, August 14, 2008

PunchButton




wild horses
death'shead apocolypse
you hide in the cellar
as towers collapse
"kill the pig-fanatic
post-proselytizing murdering coward
unmen."

children with bombs...

God must notice
as smithereens become chunks of
innocent brainwash.

God must notice,
then turn His back and say,
"I'm not the Boss of them."

Gimme Democracy
Gimme Freedom
Give me the Children;

let me see what i can do -
i promise
no bushburningbullshit- i Promise.

new English, if you please...

came to - come away with i ///

release - send letter go John Dear ///

relief - anxiety go Susplendidly///

genius - ZappaNoWrong noiseAlbert-///
(physics) StevethePenthouse Hawk///

smoke - hisOwneach - No Bummer except prettyHer///

girlfriend - can say HedLynnPamJeannieDonna-filkkalotHer - insert name freely Threw/out///

boyfriend - homephobiawrongSex but what do i know?///

gay - Exit not NOT Entry - wayface - unDynamo/Hum+BrownBobby///


"quotables"

"Oh I believe that there is really no such thing as Dyin'"

F Zappa
from Does Humor Belong In MuSiK?/ / "Whipping Post"

"Sometimes I feel like I'm dyin'


Allman Bras.



Friday, August 15, 2008

first pics with Canon digitalis



Books and me - first picstwoo

Tryin trim

Sunday, August 17, 2008

FORMALITY/hUMILITY



we have the several of two or three

more i want to glue them on Silvertoneguitarmine

butAin't it not Big enough


Pics of Precious


People in Love

i've Had such a Life.


matters

proceed all these pics printed

plain paper


and looking Them over

i now know

pride of Place out the Window goes


apace

in space Between

i begin formaility


Humility God,

you

me

Hellp.
Today
midnite.
TrimmertryinG

different

Saturday, September 6, 2008

different



there my Samick
no dust on'er anymore.

i can really
really play that thing -
people tell me i'm "good", such high praise
to be sorted and sifted

John Hiatt and
"that's just about as far as we go from here."
a wise, very old soul, him.

no confusion;
just looking and listening
for God's marching orders.

K. there again - and eyeAH...
like i once told H.
only
different.

Tuesday, September 09, 2008

Joannes


You phone and
i think of my little brother and
your 22 years with him and
i hesitate to tell you
how much i love you Both.

You other - me you attract
like flame and moth - i know you
from somewhere
you look like
someone, and i know
i'd like to be your friend or
dream... or
nightmare...

Two Joannes and i
guess i just like the name
and the women who live
behind it.


Yes, dedicated, if such a thing is required, to Joanney and Joanne. And I guess it's appropriate to say that I will miss them both. Or not. Phone me, if you have the time...

Peace,
Trimmer