and so on, and so forth ...

midnight cigarette
in the cool, calm air,
listening to a train whistle
not far away, dying but calling me,
wishing me away -
far from here
far from this terrible feeling
of alone and afraid.

back inside, the TV on but
the sound down to almost
inaudible and i
listen to the ringing in my ears -
i hear nothing but the surrender,
the scrambling of signals
and the loss of all this time;
the passage of it all.

i say to myself - later
i'll finish this when my mind is better
than it is right now
dying in the night...