regardless

we get by if we don’t believe
because we get there
regardless.
we die a thousand times
and don't cry out
but are rescued
nonetheless.
we try to murder our souls
but find them
staring back at us in the mirror.
we feel, we weep, we strike back,
and we don't believe -
we fight, we abuse, and wail in terror;
we lust, we hurt, and rail at the moon
for not caring.
we commit psychic suicide
and drift away
from self and natural-born desire,
never once realizing
that love lives next to us.
we fornicate or
make love
and it all, at once, turns out to be the same.
we try, we want, we cry;
sharing our pain
never occurs to us, and we sit
in silence, indulging
the dark thing that lives
outside love.
love lives next to us
but we don't believe
and go on
regardless.

4 May 2002