Today's going to be a lazy day - likely won't get out for a walk, I feel the need to rest after walking home in the snowstorm Monday night. I've been feeling a little down for the past couple of weeks, probably due to overmedication. I have a mood disorder, and some of the meds are sedative as hell.
I'd like to try to use the blog as an actual daily journal, thus getting back to what I did for ten years, writing a journal faithfully every morning. That was mostly a good experience, and I've had some fun now and then looking through the old entries. Roller coaster ride, yep. My therapist tells me that she's going to work hard to change that old life-pattern of a seemingly unending series of ups and downs, change it to more along the euthymic or middle ground. I tell her that's great, and mentally raise an eyebrow at her optimism. Sounds great (holy shit, who wouldn't want to be "normal" after a life of extremes?) and really, I do allow a glimmer of hope for such a wonderful thing to happen. Maybe it can happen. I would like that so very much...
So, maybe I can get back to journalizing every morning. We'll see. It'll probably depend on how "normal" I feel.
2 comments:
What's this "normal" you speak of? Something different for every person, yes? Maybe your normal exists in extremes. Maybe that can be okay.
Maybe?
Hello, daughter of mine. Extremes can be fun, on the up side, but I don't like the extremes that live on the down side. No, not at all. And that's where 90% of my life has been lived. So, maybe my normal is me finally realizing some sort of potential, or just being able to live with myself and be satisfied. I don't know - I ain't studied on it enough yet. Hey, love you lots, you know?
Dad
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