so fast

very fast
too too fast
my car and I slide through the darkness
momentary glimpses there on the windshield
past images playing tricks as I turn yet another corner
so fast
me and my foot on the pedal
drifting through turns
frowning with the stupidity of this
but calling up all the time
these past images all jumbled
not wanting to lose the thread by slowing down
there are answers here
I'm sure of it...
too fast
stereo full up
racing racing; then
my children, my ex-wife, there all complete
brakes squealing, pulling over
and sitting all shudder and inhale
lights off
I cry
oh I weep
this pain far too great
I grieve for lost life, lost chance
lost love
and pull away slowly
my children calling to me
as they have for so long
their voices rolling with the wheels
asking me when
oh my dear God
when was I coming home?



14 August 1995