monster

if, in blind judgment
I find you lacking
just keep talking
please, keep talking,
paranoia makes monsters of us all.

if, in your hearing
of my overconfident self-appraisal
you should think me wrong,
then shut me up
do it quickly, for a monster ever have I been.

if I, in manic schizophrenic delusion,
should tell you the world is flat,
close my eyes
lull me to sleep
take me to the moon
and point to your world -
maybe I'll understand.

if, finally, I lose myself,
be kind to me
for it's not a monster
but a healer
I've forever wanted to be.


14 September 1995